Online Friends that Drop Away

I have been writing online in some form for about five and a half years now. In that time, I have made several friends that I only know online — that I’ve not actually met in person. While that may be odd, consider how quickly and easily you can get to know someone through their writing online. Friendships between bloggers who see commonalities in each other can form much faster than offline friendships. Along the way, some of my online friends have decided (for various reasons) not to write anymore. Unfortunately, when they did so, they also dropped out of my life. Over time, their contact information changed or they never responded to my check-ins, or perhaps I lost their contact information. It makes me sad that my friendships with these writers ended not because one or the other of us was angry at the other or felt slighted or even felt the friendship had run its course (at least, I didn’t). It is my hope that some of my old friends might see this post and let me know how they’re doing — perhaps even where they are writing now so I can catch up.

Goewin used to write at Diaryland as Goewin and at Blogger’s Blogspot as bluemoonegg. As far as I know, she isn’t online. It has been some time since I received a comment from her. I don’t think I have her e-mail address anymore, either. She is the only online friend I’ve had that I actually made tentative plans to meet in real life, though it didn’t work out. She had family in the town where I used to teach.

Vickie used to write at Magnolia Glen. At first, she had her own .org domain, then she moved to Blogspot. A quick Google search yielded no results for either blog.

Trinity63 was very supportive of me at a time when I needed it, then she had some fairly heinous online troubles and absented herself from her Diaryland diary for good. I miss her.

Gingerbug wrote at Diaryland also. She participated in Diaryland Survivor and was raked over the coals there and on a forum owned by another Diarylander. She had quite an eye for design, and she was such an interesting person. She had some really creative ideas, too.

On the other hand, some friends I made early on have maintained contact in some form or continued writing online. Dana and Vanessa are such friends. This might creep them out, but I’ll go ahead and say that they may be two of my best friends. They know a lot about me, and they take the time to keep up with me. I’m not saying the others I mentioned didn’t do these things. It’s just that for whatever reason, we gradually lost touch. I wish we hadn’t!

Eric Andrew Lehrfeld

Eric Andrew Lehrfeld2,996. The number seems so large. The devastation wrought on 9/11/01 can be difficult to digest. Numbers like that are beyond comprehension. Nearly three-thousand people, who were going about their daily business, just like you and me, had their lives cut short. I can’t tell you about all of them, but I can tell you about one man. His name was Eric Andrew Lehrfeld.

Eric Lehrfeld was the son of Daniel and Lynn Lehrfeld. He was an alumnus of New York University. He married the former Hayley Schwartz on August 9, 1998. Mrs. Lehrfeld recalled, “We met in the winter of 1996 at a Jewish singles party at the Roxy, on West 18th Street. We loved to talk about the day we met.” They were the parents of Laura Elizabeth Lehrfeld, who was 17 1/2 months old on 9/11/01.

Eric had a passion for comic books. “He had the largest collection I have ever seen,” said John Tabbone, Mr. Lehrfeld’s best friend. “He had thousands and thousands.” In Eric’s Guest Book, John Tabbone wrote,

I keep saying to myself: Eric, where are you… He was my pal, my best man. Husband, father, friend, colleague and classmate. He did them all really well…Made me want to do them better. Eric…Where are you?

Mrs. Lehrfeld said that a perfect day for Eric would go something like this: “It’s Saturday. Pick up the paper. Go to the farmers’ market, pick up produce. Bring it back to me to cook it while he was reading his comic books. And then he would eat it all.”

Friend Oliver Pacifico remembered,

Eric was a good friend of mine during our high school days at Clarkstown North High School. It seemed like only yesterday that we were playing poker in his basement with Pete, Adam, John, etc. As a matter of fact, I think I still owe Eric some money from a bluff gone wrong. We lost touch sometime during our college years.

On September 11, 2002 I was on the computer scrolling through the names of the people who were lost a year ago. There were so many names and I was scrolling through so fast it was all a blur and yet… the name Eric Andrew Lehrfeld stood out as clear as that terrible day a year ago. “It couldn’t be,” I thought to myself. Then I saw the caption after his name, “Comic Collector.” It was then I knew. I scrolled down to see his picture and saw his face. I was immediately transported back in time to his basement years ago during that last poker hand when he called my bluff. “Fork it over,” he said. “I’ll catch you the next time,” I responded.

A year ago I lived in Battery Park City and walked right through the World Trade Center at 8:30am on my way to work. I wish I had run into Eric that morning. We would have talked about what had happened to us during the past few years and laughed about the good times we had in high school. I’m sure he would have brought up the fact that I owed him twenty bucks from that last poker hand years ago. We’d carry on long enough for him to be late to that meeting he had.

I wish I could have given Eric his twenty bucks that day.

Eric’s sister Elyse wrote in 2004,

Eric is my big brother and the best brother anyone could have ever hoped for. Words cannot describe the sadness and sense of loss I feel everyday, but I am so thankful for every moment of the 28 1/2 years we did have together. Athough 3 years have passed since the last time I saw his face, he lives in my heart and is a part of my life in everything I do and see. Eric, wherever you are, I know you are looking down at us (from the comic you are reading right now) and can feel how much we all love and miss you. Your amazing daughter grows more and more beautiful and intelligent everyday and it is amazing to watch as her sense of humor, her expressions and her sense of love for family and friends grows to mirror her Daddy’s. Eric, I love you always.

Eric Lehrfeld Statue

Eric’s memory was honored with a statue in the library of Little Tor Elementary School, which Eric attended as a child. Library officials noted, “He loved to read and will forever be remembered in our school.” In 2003 the SPIE Global Homeland Security Technical Group created an award in memory of Eric, whose father serves on their executive committee. “This award commemorates Eric’s life and reminds and stimulates us all to apply our technology to better secure our homelands.”

Eric was Director of Business Development for Random Walk Computing. He was attending a conference on the 106th floor of the North Tower at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. COO of Random Walk Jim Lowe said, “Eric was not only instrumental to Random Walk’s success over the years, but was also a close friend. We will miss Eric on every level, personal and professional.” Random Walk established a charitable fund to help pay for Laura Lehrfeld’s college expenses. To make a donation in Eric’s memory, please contact Random Walk at (212) 480-5820.

At one event in tribute to fallen Americans, CNN reported:

Near the rubble of the World Trade Center, 18-month-old Laura Lehrfeld lit the first candle of a menorah. A similar ceremony will take place each of the next seven nights of Hanukkah. Laura’s father, Eric Lehrfeld, was at a breakfast conference at the top of Tower 1 when a hijacked airliner struck the building.

In an e-mail to the author, Eric’s sister Elyse said,

Even though 5 years have passed, the pain doesn’t go away and we all miss him terribly. Eric was an amazing, brilliant, handsome, thoughtful and caring Husband, Father, Son, Grandson, Brother and most important Friend. As recent as this weekend we have received messages from people whose lives were touched by Eric at some point in their lives, letting us know how much they miss him and all the good he brought to their lives.

Whenever I look at his daughter I can see him shining through reminding us that a part of him is still here with us and lives through her every day. Even though they only got to spend 17 short months together, she knows just how special her Daddy Eric is and knows that he lives always and forever in her heart.

Lest we think the passage of time lessens the loss we feel, consider the words Eric’s mother wrote three years after his passing: “As each day goes by, I miss him more and more.”

Eric Lehrfeld Tribute

Yeetgadal v’ yeetkadash sh’mey rabbah
Amein
B’almah dee v’rah kheer’utey.
v’ yamleekh malkhutei,b’chahyeykhohn, uv’ yohmeykhohn,
uv’chahyei d’chohl beyt yisrael,
ba’agalah u’veez’man kareev, v’eemru: Amein.
Amein. Y’hey sh’met rabbah m’varach l’alam u’l’almey almahyah.
Y’hey sh’met rabbah m’varach l’alam u’l’almey almahyah.
Yeet’barakh, v’ yeesh’tabach, v’ yeetpa’ar, v’ yeetrohmam, v’ yeet’nasei,
v’ yeet’hadar, v’ yeet’aleh, v’ yeet’halal sh’mey d’kudshah b’reekh hoo
b’reekh hoo
L’eylah meen kohl beerkhatah v’sheeratah,
toosh’b’chatah v’nechematah, da’ameeran b’al’mah, v’eemru: Amein
Amein.
Y’hei shlamah rabbah meen sh’mahyah,v’chahyeem
aleynu v’al kohl yisrael, v’eemru: Amein
Amein.
Oseh shalom beem’roh’mahv, hoo ya’aseh shalom,
aleynu v’al kohl yisrael v’eemru: Amein
Amein.

United in Memory: Memorial Quilt Square for Eric Lehrfeld

Visit Eric Andrew Lehrfeld’s Memorial at Remember: September 11, 2001 and sign his Guest Book. Visit Eric Andrew Lehrfeld’s tribute at September 11, 2001 Victims and leave your comments.

2,996

Stuff

Our Field Day was Friday, and I did things I should not have done considering the shape I’m in, but the good news is our team won. Go Light Blue! Woooo!

My sister is on MySpace after mocking me about it, but that’s OK. I will link her if she gives me permission and maybe she’ll let you be her friend.

The 9/11 tribute 2,996 is already rolling, and many bloggers have their tributes up already. Mine will appear tomorrow morning at 8:46. I have the honor of remembering Eric Andrew Lehrfeld, who was in the North Tower on the 106th floor at 8:46 when American Airlines Flight 11 hit the tower. Be sure to check back tomorrow, and please read the posts of the other 2,996 bloggers.

Movable Type v. Word Press: Update

Since I dumped Movable Type for Word Press about six months ago, I have fallen in love with Word Press. It is so much easier to make changes to templates. It’s less clunky and takes up less room on the server. The themes are nicer looking than most MT stylesheets/templates I’ve come across. I have fewer problems with spam comments; I have not had a single spam comment post to my site, and a miniscule amount of them are even thrown into moderation, so I never have to see them.

Because Word Press is distributed under the GNU General Public License, users have adapted it and created all sorts of plugins for it. I have barely even begun to look at all the bells and whistles I can attach to my lean, mean, CMS machine. I’ve recommended it to others looking to blog. If you yourself are looking to blog, I do suggest Word Press; if you don’t have your own domain, try WordPress.com, who will host your blog (similar to Blogger/Blogspot). In fact, if you are able to migrate from Blospot to WordPress.com, I’d suggest it. Blogspot has been a huge target for comment spam. One of my favorite blogs was having such a problem with it that the owner will only allow commenters who have Blogger profiles to comment on their blogs. One of the reasons I ditched MT was because of TypeKey. It may have changed since, but with the last version I had, I couldn’t simply allow users I trusted to automatically post a comment; they had to either go into moderation with everyone else or login to TypeKey. I sympathize with those of you who don’t feel like registering with some (unknown) entity in order to comment on a blog. I actually resent it, so I understand why most of you all did not do so when I was using TypeKey.

I wouldn’t go back to MT unless something major happened at Word Press. Steve first suggested it when he had the opportunity to use it while writing for Blogs for Natalee about a year ago. I am a creature of habit, and I was reluctant to switch. Once I tried it, though, I was really happy with it. I have changed the look drastically several times with minimal fuss compared to changing templates with MT.

P.S. Is there anyone out there who wants me to implement Gravatar again?

Old Posts

I have now uploaded old posts up through the end of September 2001.  Wow.  Nearly five years ago, this stuff was written.  Five years ago, I was thinking a lot about my own writing and wanting to do more with it.  And I haven’t done much since then.  In five years!

Re-reading my 9/11 posts and looking at the children’s artwork I posted to my online diary brought tears to my eyes.

One of the reasons I wanted to transfer some of what I wrote back then to this more permanent space is that it is really interesting to look back and see who you were.  I wish I still had the diary I kept when I was 15.  I would love to see what was going on in my head nearly 20 years ago.  I really admire Roger for continuously keeping a journal for as long as he has.  I really like his posts when he goes through his journals and writes what he was doing 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago.  But journaling late is better than never doing it at all.

Blogging Minutiae

We had a little bit of a reprieve from the heat today as it was cloudy and a bit rainy. I took Maggie to the doctor to have her hearing tested. I was surprised to learn they were open on Saturdays. Now we just have to have her teeth checked at the dentist, and she’ll be ready for school registration.

I couldn’t sleep last night. My sleeping schedule always gets messed up during the summer. I am, I suppose, naturally predisposed toward being a night person, but it doesn’t make me feel good about myself. It makes me feel lazy. Logically, I don’t know why it should, as I get the same stuff done on the night shift as I do through the school year (work aside, which can’t be helped as school is out). Maybe it is something in my old Southern farmer blood that insists one must be up with the chickens in order to be a productive member of society. I think it makes me feel kind of blue to be on this schedule. It is sort of a matter of my mind fighting a losing battle with my body.

In the mail today I received my two complimentary author’s copies of English Journal, July 2006 in which my article appears on p. 33. It’s very exciting for me to be published in what is possibly the most influential journal for English teachers. I have pullout quotes and a minibiography and everything!

I was thinking about my great-great grandmother, Stella Bowling Cunningham, again. I don’t know why I am so curious about her in particular among all of my ancestors. Maybe because she was a teacher. But I have had other teachers in the family who don’t pique my interest. I think it might be the journal. I have a photocopy of a journal she kept in 1894-1895. In it, she records mostly minutiae, such as what she purchased that day and how much it cost, who came to visit and what they did, and that sort of thing. Yet mingled in there are significant events, such as her wedding and the death of her grandmother. It’s incredible to be able to read it. I find the smallest detail fascinating. I have struggled with the “who cares” factor with this blog. It isn’t that it bothers me that I don’t have many readers. Some days, I just find myself saying why bother to post that? The fact is, this is my journal. The difference between mine and Stella’s is that I know people look at it, so I have this “audience” hurdle to get over that Stella didn’t. However, Stella could little have realized how special and important someone — perhaps her great-great granddaughter — would find her journal. So from here on in, I hope to post more often, but I can’t promise that it won’t be about what I bought and how much it cost or who came over and what they did.

So… What Do You Think?

I think it’s bright and cheerful.

It’s a little different, so here’s where to look for things in order to navigate:

  • Categories: left sidebar
  • Archives: left sidebar under Categories
  • Search: left sidebar under Post Archives or click Search at the top navigation bar
  • Currently Reading and Recent Books: right sidebar
  • Recent Posts: right sidebar under Recent Books
  • Recent Comments: right sidebar under Recent Posts
  • Blogroll: right sidebar under Recent Comments

If you are interested, I have new posts elsewhere:

Summer Stuff

I have actually made a unit lesson plan and done a few single day lesson plans, so I’m not being completely lazy. Aside from that, I’m just writing. Not much here, I guess, but I’ve been busier than usual on my other blogs.

At the Pensieve, I’ve recently posted about J.K. Rowling’s interview on the Richard & Judy show in the UK, the potion Dumbledore drank in the cave in Half-Blood Prince, and Draco Malfoy. I just completed a re-read of the Harry Potter series, so I’ve been a bit busier over there than usual. Oh, and the Pensieve turned two years old on June 23.

At my genealogy blog, I posted what I think is a kind of funny deconstruction of how I’m related to Mark Twain. A lot of people criticize genealogists for looking for famous folks in their family tree. I still laugh at the way I figured this one out.

At my education blog, which turned a year old on June 25, I have recently posted on the following topics:

There’s a lot there, as I have been doing the majority of my writing there for the last month.

I can’t remember if I said it here or not, but I also spent a week at a Schools Attuned workshop in Charlotte, NC. I learned a lot and may even earn a bunch of CEU’s out of the deal when I complete a few other requirements.

I have also finally started the summer reading I need to do to prepare for school.

I suppose I’ve been staying fairly busy.