God, God, God

God, I just don’t know what to say. All my little problems and fears seem so insignificant. My two babies are sleeping nearby on the couch. Steve is snoring in the bedroom. And I am transfixed by the news. Everyone close to me is safe. I don’t know of anyone on the planes or in those buildings that I lost. But thousands of people can’t say that. And I cry for them. Steve looked up which businesses were in the World Trade Center buildings. God, did you know there was a day care center in one of them? Probably run for the employees who worked there. The pictures look like footage from the end of the world. Strawburygrl, I can guarantee that no American airline pilot would have steered a plane into those buildings. Your husband is very right that they pilots were probably dead or otherwise overpowered. I can tell you myself I would have let the assholes kill me before I would steer a plane into a building like that. Anyone would. Those people that died in the plane crash in Pennsylvania are no more heroes than any of the other crew and passengers on the other planes. I believe in my heart that each crew member and passenger did what they were able to do to stop this tragedy, including calling emergency officials and airline offices on their cell phones. One flight attendant said they killed her whole crew. She somehow managed to radio or phone the airline. Do not be misled. The people who hijacked those planes were militant fanatics bent on dying for their cause.

New Yorkers running from debris and later walking dumbly out of the city. Surreal. Thousands of people everywhere clogging Red Cross centers to donate blood, many even before they were asked.

I hope my dad was able to get something to eat today. He works on an Air Force base and wasn’t allowed to leave. They had vending machines, I guess. He never e-mailed me back. He probably couldn’t. I hope my brother-in-law is okay. I’m getting off the line to call my sister and offer her support. My cousin is also in the Air Force. I wonder if he was able to go home. Probably not. He assists a general.

God, God, God.

Shock, Reflection, and Prayer

What can be said? This is chaos. Madness. When things like this happen, it feels like the world is ending. My dad, who works on an Air Force Base, is in lock-down. He is unable to receive or make calls, and he can’t leave. My brother-in-law, who is in the Air Force, is somewhere in Saudi right now. My sister must be frantic, but she’s all the way around the world and all I have is her e-mail.

My daughter came home today and said that they told her criminals broke the planes and made them crash into buildings. They must have assured the kids that their homes are safe.

Poetical said “let there be a purpose for this,” in my guestbook. There is not a purpose for this senselessness.

Dana said her students didn’t understand why people in the Middle East were cheering. Why do they hate us so much? Fucking crazy assholes. I don’t care how that sounds. It is how I feel. They are truly evil. I really hope and pray that we find out who did it. Not that they can be punished for what they did — there is no punishment to fit this crime. But I’m sure they’ll be punished ten-fold in hell.

Prayer: Lord, at times like this, we don’t understand our fellow human beings. We don’t understand why they do the things they do. We don’t understand the evil in men’s hearts. Please be with the victims of this tragedy and their families. Please help them through this ordeal. Please send angels in whatever form to help them. Please send them a shoulder to lean on. I’m not even sure what to pray for, Lord. But you know the need, and you will provide. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.